This year was actually a pretty good Thanksgiving, all things considered. If I had a dollar for every person who asked me if we're going to have more children, I'd be rich. I even had a family member ask me if Matthew and Joshua were twins. Seriously? I guess I need to see you guys more often, huh?
One thing I've learned this year is that the perfect distance between me and my family seems to be about 1 hour, give or take a little. Georgia was just too far and living in town was just asking for trouble. But an hour away? It's just right. No unexpected visits, but close enough to get together as often as we want.This little rule does not apply to my sister-in-law though. No, she can drop by anytime. Yesterday she arrived at my house in the morning only to discover me still in my pajamas trying to unpack in the basement. I had forgotten what day it was (Sunday?) and that we were going to church together. She was patient with me as I ran around grabbing the kids' clothes and trying to get everyone out the door. Jessie can always laugh at me and my chaotic mess of a life!
God knew what he was doing when he let me marry into Jason's (crazy) family. I never had a sister, but I've been so lucky to have a sister-in-law who is better than any sister I could have gotten. She loves my kids and she has an awesome husband and son. We just have so much fun together! This weekend I've been reminded that there was a reason we made the decision to move to this neighborhood. I hope we don't wear out our welcome here because I'd be so lonely without Jessie.Our outing to church yesterday was an adventure, as always. We decided to visit Jessie's church and it's a big, old Baptist church in the historic part of town. I've always been a Methodist and was baptized in the same church where my children were baptized. I haven't visited the Methodist church in town and there's another new, contemporary church that we are going to check out. But yesterday we were running late since I didn't remember that it was Sunday. So off we went to the Baptist church.
I always grab a pew in the back when I'm at church with the kids. Because this was a new church for us, I didn't know where the nursery was, or if they even had one. The service was not crowded and there were really only a handful of families lining the pews. Of course someone was seated in the last pew but my brother-in-law is in a wheelchair so we needed to be in the back anyway. I quietly sat down with Matthew, Joshua, Leila, Sarah, and Ryan. Jessie and her family were in chairs behind the last pew, directly behind us. She held Nathan on her lap.
No sooner had we gotten seated, then I noticed I was getting dirty looks. The kids were well-behaved. There was the usual shuffling of papers as they colored in their bulletins and Ryan was babbling a bit at one point. Despite the fact that we were new to the church, nobody approached us and nobody mentioned that there was a nursery available. The grumpy lady continued to glare at us and I could tell that she was silently placing a hex on us. I considered nursing Ryan just to see if i could make her eyeballs pop out and her head spin around in circles.
Eventually I took the babies outside and finally an usher asked if we'd like to know where the nursery was located. Um, YES?! I did my best to quiet the voices in my head that were shouting about H1N1 and cooties and nurseries not being sanitary and what was I thinking! I felt a bit better when I saw that my children made up more than half of the total number of children in the room already. Les kids, less germs, right? Jessie and I dropped off the girls and the babies and headed back to the service where grumpy lady was still giving me the evil eye. I even heard her groan a few times. Seriously. After the service ended she practically ran out the back door. When I picked the kids up from the nursery, Leila was curled up in a ball by the door. That was when the nursery worker told me that Leila had been there for the entire time we were gone. Sarah went off and played and the babies never even noticed I had left. But there was Leila, in the fetal position, writhing on the floor. She was so angry at me that she didn't even want to come with us. Despite her obvious disgust over being left in the nursery, now she didn't want to leave. I doused the kids in hand sanitizer and dragged Leila out into the hall where she stubbornly refused to walk with us and insisted on keeping a 10 foot distance between us. She threw a raging fit in the van until she found her blanket and covered her face quietly. Talk about antisocial.
Needless to say, we're trying a different church next week. Ideally I'd like to find one that is going to welcome this crazy, husband-less mama and her growing group of heathens. Is that too much to ask?At least I have Jessie.
















13 comments:
Several years ago when my oldest two were probably 2 and 3 years old, we attended the early mass where we seemed to be the only family with young children. My children were NOT talking, crying, screaming, running around, etc. Although I admit they were not standing/sitting at the same time as everyone else. At the end of the mass, the priest made a point to announce that there was a crying room available at the back of the church. Since we were the only ones with kids, it was obvious the comment was directed towards us. We never went back there.
Heather...if you lived in TX you'd be more than welcome (and your kids too) at our church. I really don't understand why people are that way. My hubby is a pastor and he always says children are the future of the church...he enjoys babies in the service.
That is not too much to ask out of a church! I can't believe no one would help you - I feel so ashamed for those people.
WOW! What a "welcome!"
And I have to say, what happened to your daughter is one of my pet peeves with church nurseries. If a child is that distressed with being in the nursery, I really think a parent should be paged.
I always specifically leave instructions to page me if my child is upset and can not be easily calmed...but regardless, I've done spot checks to find my babies crying. I will stand in the hallway unobserved and wait a few minutes to make sure it isn't a short-lived fussiness...but really, my child should be comfortable in church! I, as the parent, should be the one who has to make a sacrifice if anyone does, not my child.
that is TERRIBLE. A) Jesus loves children, check the bible folks! (Mt 19:14)
and 2) you'd think that Christians would be inclined to treat people in a Christian manner, you know, NICELY.
i've been lucky enough to have both things happen - people say nice things and people make faces. i know that now that i'm a mom, i am extra conscious of being smiling and encouraging to other moms, esp when their kids aren't "perfect" in church.
oh and ps. thats why i wont do the
"nursery" thing - people don't come and get you and that freaks me out. obviously, i'm not like against people who use nurseries, i'm just paranoid :) that and i'm determined that my kid won't learn how to behave in church unless he's in it. but i can see how with multiple kids, that starts getting way harder :)
Oh my! I have had those stares too, and even one woman ask us to re-locate to a different area in the church...haha, I had to bite my tounge REALLY hard that morning :).
Goodness people, help a mama out would ya!?
LOL! I so feel your pain. I had a horrible Sunday I blogged about this week also. I HATE looking for a church!
Ah the hypocrisy. I never understood why some church-goers shun children at service. It's different if your child is screaming and you really need to leave, versus soft conversation, babbling, and general baby noises. I'm speaking to the clergy about babies/children in church before we decide on a specific congregation. I hope you can find a place to feel comfortable for your whole family :)
You're invited to my church anytime you make it to Idaho...EVERYONE has kids and they are all noisy. It's great!
Can't wait until you come visit our church in WA. We'll welcome you with open arms ... and let your kids stay in service with you.
:) :) :)
Are you familiar with Voddie Baucham?
http://www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/home.html
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=voddie+baucham&search_type=&aq=0&oq=voddie
I LOVE listening to him speak... I just have to say, I agree w/ him. You are to be praised, commended and encouraged. I am THANKFUL for you and your willingness to accept Gods blessings and train them up. I think it's shameful that more people aren't encouraging to mothers (and mothers to many for sure)...instead of being annoyed, how about helping out the "new lady" at church. Show some Godly love towards her and her children?!? I'm sorry, I hope you find the church for you.
p.s. I have issues w/ nurseries too....I'm trying to find a comfortable balance so I can actually be a regular church attender again!
I hope I didn't sound harsh....I am truly thankful for nursery workers and children workers in general....some of the hangups I have are my own some are warranted...God bless.
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