It's Twinsanity

The Incredible Journey (Part 4)

2010-09-02T05:30:00.000-04:00

Leaving West Virginia was exciting because our next stop was Ohio. And we had big plans in Ohio.

However, getting there wasn't that simple. You see, West Virginia has this little thing called a panhandle. And once you think you are out of West Virginia, you are suddenly back in it. And then you start to wonder what happened. And then you start to worry. Am I going the wrong way? Am I lost?

And then you realize that West Virginia is some sort of alternate universe where you can never escape.
I kid you not, our drive that day went exactly like this: West Virginia, Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Ohio.

Seriously.

It is way less exciting to tell the kids we just crossed into West Virginia when you just told them we left there 20 minutes ago. Damn that panhandle!I guess we're just lucky. We had the extreme pleasure of passing through West Virginia three times in one morning. And I assure you, I was not lost.

(Got the GPS, never need a map again!)

Finally, finally, after a long day on the road, we arrived in Ohio. Finally.

We stayed at a military base that night and I felt so much safer there. In fact, we were greeted upon arrival by a sweet couple who were camping near us.
I guess that I'm a pretty pitiful sight as I set up camp with my splinted finger and six unruly children. As I hooked up the poop chute, a retired gentleman approached me and asked if I needed help. Of course I said "no" because that is my M.O. Heather always refuses help. Can you say character flaw? Anyway.

The man's wife eventually came over and he helped me unhook my camper and we chatted. They were amazed that I was traveling alone with my children and were surprised to hear that my husband was in Iraq and I was all by myself. Being retired military himself, our new friend was touched. He told me that I was an example for military wives everywhere. I shook my head and told him I'm just doing what I have to do.

The kids and I left to take care of our big plans (more on that later!) and came back late that night to crawl into bed.

When we woke up the next morning, our new friends came over and helped me break camp. They told me that they had told their friends about our family and that they were all wishing us a safe trip. The sweet couple even gave me a copy of the military campground book so that I could scout out bases to camp at along our way. The gentleman warned me that I needed new tires and told me that I wouldn't make it to Washington without getting new tires. I inflated my tires and headed on my way, planning to buy new ones in Colorado.

We left Ohio feeling blessed by friendship in unexpected places. Sometimes my courage is boosted just by a simple conversation with a stranger. Sometimes dinner with a "new" friend can feel just like dinner with a friend I've known for years.

Ohio goes down with a smiley face next to it in my book.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-01T05:08:00.000-04:00

The Incredible Journey (Part 3)

2010-08-31T05:28:00.002-04:00

Our third stop on this Incredible Journey was to the wild, wonderful state of West Virginia.

West Virginia is no stranger to me. I spent summers there as a teenager on mission trips with our church's youth group as we built houses for a poor community. I explored abandoned coal mines and didn't do the greatest job of staying out of trouble. I have gone skiing and whitewater rafting in West Virginia. I've jumped off of cliffs into the deep lake water. I've slept in a log cabin in bear country and drank illegal moonshine. I've seen incredible poverty and beautiful mountains there. As they say, it's wild and wonderful in West Virginia.
So it seemed quite fitting that our first stop was in a tiny town, nestled between the mountains along a river in West Virginia. After a shaky 5-mile trek down a one lane gravel road, we arrived in the middle of nowhere.

We watched the sun set over the fields of wildflowers. The kids were thrilled to finally be headed west and I just spent the night praying that we wouldn't eaten by a bear or abducted by aliens or kidnapped by hillbillies.

Again, we survived.

In the morning, we awoke at dawn. The mountains were shrouded in a heavy veil of white fog. The wildflowers were wet with dew. Nobody stirred in the quiet of the cool morning as we broke camp and headed back down the long, gravel road.

We thought we had seen the last of West Virginia as we watched the sun rising behind us as we drove west. We were wrong.

The Incredible Journey (Part 2)

2010-08-29T23:12:00.009-04:00

Let me start by saying that we are not yet in Washington... not even close! We are a bit closer.

At the moment we are actually visiting family in Colorado. It's been a wonderful break from the daily driving that I've done for weeks now. (Over 4,000 miles and counting!)

I'll get caught up soon, but for now, here are some pictures from the second part of our trip. We spent nearly 2 weeks in Virginia and had the pleasure of seeing friends from Massachusetts and just running around my old stomping grounds. The D.C. area holds a lifetime of memories for me and I enjoy sharing some of that with my kids.
While in Virginia we camped at a familiar spot... my grandmother's property. She is one of the few people left who own acres of land in the shadow of the nation's capitol, where everything is condos and homes crammed on 1/3 acre lots. Her property is a paradise in the midst of the hectic lifestyle of northern Virginia.

I backed my 26-foot camper down the winding driveway and pulled right up to the water and electric hookups. I figured camping here was a safe place to start since a) I have never camped in a camper before, and b) I was a little freaked out about camping without a man around, especially since there were escaped convicts on the loose from Arizona and I was a bit overly paranoid.
Besides, my grandma's house is more beautiful than any campground. And we were surrounded by nature!
Plus, there is a perfect playhouse for the kids and plenty of things to explore.

Of course, for the little guys exploring means making mischief. They don't miss any chance to create a little chaos. In fact, they thrive on it.

When I had one son, I said it was difficult. When I had my second son, I said there wasn't much more challenging than 2 little boys so close in age. When I had twin girls, I determined that twins (even girls) were
definitely the biggest challenge I could ever face. With the addition of these twin boys, I have now learned that I should just shut up already.

Twin boys are, by far, the sneakiest creatures on earth.

If these guys weren't so darn cute...

My four boys kept me busy as I saved them from drowning, made sure they didn't throw things into the fish pools, and ensured that they didn't catch the camper on fire.

We visited family, went swimming, walked the Manassas battlefields, and went to the Air & Space Museum. We walked and walked and soaked up the sun.

We had mama drama, we had minor injuries, and we had a few annoying roadblocks. But we had a great time and made memories that will stick with us for a lifetime.

Sometimes, success in life can only be measured by whether or not you survived.
We survived.

The Incredible Journey (Part 1)

2010-08-28T23:52:00.005-04:00

Although it feels like it was just yesterday that we were celebrating Joshua's sixth birthday and preparing to leave Georgia for good, it was really more than a month ago. We traded our empty house in Georgia for a cramped camper and life on the road. And it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.

There is nothing that could have prepared me for this journey. Whenever I start to feel like I have life figured out, God throws me a curve ball. Whether it's twins, twins again, a deployment, or a cross-country move, I am clearly being taught patience, humility, flexibility, and compassion. Apparently I had a lot of lessons to learn, because, well... have you seen my life? As the end of July grew closer, my nervousness and excitement consumed me. Once the hardest part of the actual moving was over, we hit the road, ready to face the next challenge.

For me, that next challenge was learning to live in a camper with 6 young children, a dog, and a cat. By myself. On the road.

The first part of our journey began when we pulled out of our driveway and hit the highway. Our typical 9-ish hour drive to Virginia took over 11 hours and was complicated by an overheating van and overloaded camper... not to mention the 6 kids with overactive bladders.After countless potty stops and a few stops for me to check (and add) oil, we arrived safely in Virginia. We had eaten 3 meals on the road and had spent the first night in our camper. We had survived. Day 1 of our trip was complete.
After driving over 500 miles, I was exhausted. But I had no idea what was in store for us next...

Getting There Is More Than Half of the Fun

2010-08-20T23:18:00.002-04:00

3,121 miles traveled... and 3,000 more to go.

16 states visited... and 6 more left to see.

I have asked myself many times why I am doing this crazy trip. But I've answered myself countless times when I have seen how much fun the kids are having. One thing is certain, this is a summer we will never forget. It's a summer that will live in infamy. It's the summer I threw caution to the wind and headed west. And we are having the time of our lives!

We have camped on the quiet shore of Lake Michigan and in the mountains of West Virginia. We have caught grasshoppers in South Dakota and roasted marshmallows in Wisconsin. We have had a tire blow out in Michigan and gotten stuck on a dirt road in Montana. We have met the families behind two of my favorite blogs and we made new friends in a retired couple we met. We have watched the sun set over the Mississippi River and watched it rise again over the plains of North Dakota. We have seen sunflowers and palm trees, wildflowers and pine trees, farms and fields, cities and skyscapers, highways and one lane roads.

There have been moments when I'm terrified at what I've gotten myself into, but I can't let myself think about it too much. When I drive for 2 hours without cell phone coverage or an hour without seeing another car, it's intimidating. When we have camped without hookups, it's a bit scary for me. But the kids don't even notice.

I can't wait to post pictures and catch up on emails. Thank you all for thinking of us and praying for our family. I am doing this alne,, but I'm never truly alone. What a blessing! This is the trip of a lifetime. Only one thing can top this... and that is Jason's return from Iraq! And I got the call yesterday... he'll be home a bit earlier than expected!!! Next month I will have my husband back home for the first time in what feels like forever. Washington, here we come!

Can We Just Pretend Yesterday Didn't Happen?

2010-08-16T10:29:00.002-04:00

Ever have one of those days when you feel like you just need a do-over? That was me yesterday.

Our otherwise fun trip took a turn for the worst. I thought the day would never end. I can laugh today but that's only because I treated myself to my first iced latte since starting this trip.

It started when I couldn't get the slide on the camper to come in so we could leave our campsite. If only I had known then that it was just the beginning... Our campground was in BFE, Michigan. There wasn't even a gas station in "town" but I finally found one and stopped to put air in my tires. I had noticed the tires were not looking good and I'm pretty irritated that they sold me a camper with 4 bad tires. Anyway, I got 40 miles down the road and blew a tire on the interstate.

I waited for nearly 2 hours for the roadside assistance guy to show up. When he did, I worried about what he might do to me. He had no teeth and smoked a cigarette as he lifted the spare tire from under my propane tanks!!! Actually, he turned out to be quite sweet And we both had a good laugh at my situation. I finally got on the road and decided to try to make it the rest of the 160 miles to Chicago because there were no tire stores open on a Sunday anyway.

Eight hours later, we arrived to our campground. This was after numerous stops to let the tires cool and me busting a u-turn on the front lawn of a church during the church service. (don't ask!) Our campground was beautiful but had no water hookups. We were 100 yards from the shore of Lake Michigan (literally!) and had no water. It wouldn't be a problem except that someone had stolen the cap to our fresh water tank so the tank was empty and dirty. Yuck. We walked a mile to get water from the marina and the kids convinced me to spend $17 on corndogs. (again, don't ask!)

We decided to stop at the beach and everyone loved the sand and water. I felt like a 12-year old with ADD as I tried to watch six kids going six different directions. Covered in sand and with no water in the camper to rinse with, we returned "home." It was then that we discovered that our darling dog had chewed through a window and door frame in the camper. And there was poop. Lots of it. Our dog won't poop when he's on a leash so he had held it awhile already. I cleaned up and had the kids wait in the van to escape the swarms of biting flies.

We got into the camper and had another potty incident and a spill. After I had just cleaned the floor three times!

Other highlights include: Nathan's black eye, Leila's mysteriously bleeding lips, 2 hours in bumper to bumper Chicago traffic with a huge camper, my hurt finger bumping into things, no wifi again, and not enough sleep. But don't get me wrong, we are still smiling (through the blood, sweat, and tears!)

I can't wait to post pictures but I need a wifi connection first. (I read the iPhone tethering only works if you cancel your data plan. Anyone know if that's true? I'm dying for Internet access and typing on my iPhone is so hard with no functioning index finger!)

Right now we are sitting here near Chicago waiting for the camper to get the new tires. I asked if they give a military discount and they don't so I asked if there was a discount for women with too many kids. They just laughed at me. I'm glad we are still laughing.

Seven Things I've Learned From Life on the Road

2010-08-13T23:11:00.004-04:00

1. Expect the unexpected. Things includes things such as injuries (torn ligament, anyone?) or an escaped cat.

2. No matter how many times you ask the other children if they have to pee while already stopped for the first child to pee, they will all answer "no" until 7 miles down the road when the urge suddenly strikes them unexpectedly.

3. West Virginia is the longest state ever. It is entirely possible to drive in and out of it ten times on the same trip. Our route today went from WV to MD to WV to MD to WV to PA to WV to OH. Damn that panhandle!

4. Kansas is the most boring state ever. I didn't learn that on this trip, but it bears repeating.

5. Internet friends are even more fun in person than they are online. And their kids are even cuter too!

6. It is impossible to get a decent wifi connection anywhere without sleeping inside a Starbucks... which I have actually considered.

7. Dumping the black tank (aka poop chute) on a camper is not as foul as you might expect. Just be sure to wear gloves. (wearing gloves is hard with a splint on your finger too.)

Welcome to SuckTown, USA

2010-08-06T19:35:00.002-04:00

It's the place where dreams come true!

Ok, not really.

First stop on our trip? Sucktown, USA. Aka Virginia. My home.

I was all set to write a great post (and I will very soon) about how much fun we've been having on our road trip... and then I visited my mom. It's no secret that my mom and I don't have a good relationship. In fact, I'd say it's strained, at best.

Somehow, my mother's timing is always impeccable. Or perhaps it's just that there is no good time to attack someone's parenting choices.

I'm not writing about this for sympathy or a pat on the back. I'm very much aware that I'm not a perfect parent. Not even close! But I do think that I try very hard to make the best choices for our family and do the best I can for my children. It hurts to hear someone say that I've failed.

My mother has told me so many times that I'm doing this all wrong. I'm wrong when it comes to breastfeeding, starting solids, potty training, sleeping, diapering, discipline, schooling, and pretty much everything else. No amount of self defense on my part can help. There's no point. Whatever I do, it will be wrong.

Basically, I took the kids to my mom's house for dinner on Tuesday. We had been staying in the camper (partially to avoid situations like this) but coming over to visit when she got home from work. Dinner was late that night and it was actually bedtime before the kids sat down to eat. Nathan was tired, hungry, and out of sorts. He threw a tantrum that only a toddler can throw, and I must say that he was in rare form. He cried and cried for several minutes and when I removed him from the table he cried more. When he was in my arms he settled down, but not before dinner was "ruined." That was when my mother pointed out that my children are disrespectful brats because I don't discipline them. And that Nathan needed some good spanking right then. (Because the best way to settle a tired, hungry toddler is to hit him, right?)

Needless to say, that put a damper on things. We'd been having fun until then and now I've just been reminded why I left this place months ago.

It's a shame that I can't enjoy being home and being with family. It's sad that I always wonder what terrible things my mom will say to me whenever I visit.

It's not enough that my husband is deployed and that I'm moving across the country. Or that I've been having health issues (much. much better at the moment) and I haven't had a partner here to help pitch in when things get rough. Or that I'm really trying to do the best I can in every situation that life throws at me. Nope. Not enough. My mother has to add in some lovely Mama Drama to keep things interesting.

I'd love to hear from those of you that deal with this too. I know some of you have the same issues with your mothers. How do you handle it? I've cut off communication with her before and that doesn't work, and I do still want my children to know her. I have gotten really good at ignoring her passive aggressive comments, but sometimes she (literally) gets in my face. We only see her a few times a year. What should I do? I am starting to dread coming back here.

The bright side in all of this is that I parked my camper at my sister-in-law's house on Tuesday night and we've been spending time with her instead. I never wrote about it, but she had a miscarriage last month and I wanted so badly to be there for her. It was an early miscarriage (just like mine 5 years ago) but she had gone through so much to have a baby. It has been beyond devastating. I am glad to be here to bring some craziness and laughter to her house.
Right now, we are preparing to hit the road again. I've learned a few things about RV living. (And no, I'm not going to say anything about dumping the sewage!) Space is always tight. Internet is a luxury. I really need a laptop. Leaving the bathroom vent open in a rain storm will make a soggy mess. TV is really not missed at all. Seven people, a cat, and a dog sharing a space makes for a new level of coziness. We can be happy, no matter where we sleep at night.

Yes, we can be happy just about anywhere. Even SuckTown, USA.

Just Call Me "Highway Heather"

2010-07-31T19:44:00.002-04:00

More details coming soon, but for now I just wanted to share that we escaped the brutal Georgia heat and arrived safely in Virginia last night. It was a long, long 11 hour drive but somehow we managed to pull it off. Some awesome friends helped with last-minute packing, cleaning, and babysitting. Everything fell into place and with over 500 miles of camper driving experience under my belt, I feel excited about our journey to Washington. Somehow this will all work out. For now I have been surviving on caffiene and donuts, but soon we will settle into our new routine as a family of nomads. Life is good, even when it's hard. Bring on the open road!!!

We May Never Escape

2010-07-28T09:39:00.002-04:00

The days are ticking by and I have no hope of ever getting out of Georgia. The babies are destroying things faster than I can keep up. I am struggling to get things packed while also feeding, changing, and entertaining six kids. There's been poop. As always.

My patience is virtually non-existent and I find myself wondering how anyone gets anything done when they have children. Seriously, do you guys clean your house or shower or anything? Is it just me?

Not Enough Hours In A Day

2010-07-25T20:26:00.003-04:00

In addition to the incredible oversight in creating mothers with only two hands, when clearly at least four are indicated, God also failed to provide enough hours in a day. How He created the heavens and the earth so quickly is beyond me. I can't even wash all of our laundry that fast.

I canot seem to get enough done during the day. Each day I run around like a chicken with my head cut off and then suddenly look down and realize it's 8pm.

Here I am, still stuck in Georgia. In the heat. With no air conditioning. And no Internet. Or phone. Because I was supposed to leave on Friday (which quickly became Tuesday and is now who-knows-when) I cut off some of the utilities. Oops.

My air conditioning is broken. Or something. It's not cooling again and it has a foul odor. And I showered for church today so I know it's not me.

We actually came out to the camper to sit in the air conditioning for awhile. Does anyone else see the irony in my whining about a too-small house and the fact that we are now going to be living in a camper that is roughly the size of my current bathroom?

Tomorrow will be a day of errands, followed by countless other tasks around the house. And someday soon I will finally be on the road. Wish me luck! Or are you supposed to say Bon voyage? Or break a leg? Second thought, don't tell me to break a leg. (my luck and all)

Typing blog posts on my phone screen makes me feel like a giant with really huge fingers.

I Just Gave Birth In My Mouth

2010-07-20T20:08:00.002-04:00

Yes, it's true.

I gave birth in my mouth. Again.

And, as several people have pointed out already, it's twins.

I know you can't wait to meet them, so here is a picture. Baby A is on the left, Baby B on the right.
Baby A was just over 1/8 inch long, while Baby B was just over 1/4 inch long. I suspect it may be another case of TTTS.

I'm very pleased to report that I am feeling much better, aside from the stitches, a hematoma, and the draining infection.

The doctor made a generous incision and attempted a vacuum delivery. When that failed, he used forceps. Once Baby A was out, Baby B shot right out behind him. Sweet, sweet relief.

Of course, until I have a permanent surgical procedure done, I'll continue to produce more of these guys. In fact, there are a few more growing in there right now that the doctor left behind.

But for now, I'm feeling good.

And I'm about 5 pounds lighter.

Wordless Wednesday (Kind of)

2010-07-20T17:00:00.002-04:00

Just one word...

RELIEF!!!!!!!!

The Hits Just Keep Coming!

2010-07-19T09:47:00.003-04:00

In a nutshell, things are just falling apart today.

This was supposed to be a fun week since the big boys had music camp at church. That's not happening now. Matthew is having another round of the mystery headaches so we had to stay home.

As I was fixing breakfast the kids informed me that Sarah had locked a baby in the bedroom... which would not be a big deal if someone hadn't lost my keys a few weeks ago. I could have kicked in the door (like I did in our house in Virginia) but I am thinking that wouldn't be a big selling point for the realtor. Instead, I spent 20 minutes picking the lock and apologizing to Nathan through the door for it taking so long to get him out.

And as a special added bonus, my salivary gland is so infected now that I'm unable to swallow. After a few calls to the military hospital and the civilian hospital downtown, it looks I'll be having surgery to remove the stones (not the whole gland yet) today or tomorrow. Or something. Should be fun.

And now I have to go take care of my sweet boy who just yesterday was a laugh riot...
...because today he can't sit upright because his head hurts so much.

I think someone just doesn't want us to leave Georgia because this is getting ridiculous. Every road block possible has been put in my path, it seems. Doesn't matter to me though... Jason is coming home and I will get to Washington, come hell or high water!

In A Funk

2010-07-15T09:01:00.006-04:00

It's been a crazy, hectic, trying week. Or week and a half I guess. I have really been in a funk and the longer I didn't blog about it, the harder it became to finally break the silence. I think this has been the only week that could possibly rival the insane two weeks of being snowed in with mastitis earlier this year.

I can't even begin to express how hard life has been. I have been feeling completely defeated. And I hate that feeling.

Thankfully, I have six sweet kids to keep me in check. If not for them, I'd really be lost. While it's true that they are the source of a lot of my exhaustion, they also make me laugh and keep me smiling. And right now, that's been a tough job.
Ryan has started asking me to take his picture and then he smiles. Like this.
Oh, I am so blessed to have these children. What would I do without them?

I certainly wouldn't be moving into a camper for the next 2 months and traveling the country. And I certainly wouldn't be playing Uno or staying up late eating marshmallows.
But right now things just suck. That's the nicest way I can say it.

Someone I love is going through a really, really difficult time and I can't help them. That's hard. And I feel helpless. And I can't talk about it right now.
And last week's visit to the rheumatologist left me with no explanation for the dizziness that still plagues me. Actually, it left me with even more questions. The doctor took one look at me and was quite sure that I had Marfan Syndrome, but after examining me found that my heart is normal and healthy and so that ruled that out. Instead, he diagnosed me with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. I'm not at all surprised. The more I read about it, the more sure I was that I had some form of it. Thankfully, I don't think this means anything, other than I now have an explanation for the weird things that I've always thought were just normal. Now when I talk about my joint pain, the doctors will take me seriously.
And in true Heather fashion, I have completely jinxed myself. If you believe in that kind of thing. Which I don't. Maybe.

After canceling the ear and salivary gland surgery, I'm now second-guessing myself. I have another freaking infection in my gland. I have a huge, painful lump in my neck. I am so incredibly sick of this!!!!!

To top that off, my ear is infected again too. And I'm starting to really not believe the doctors who insist that this is completely unrelated. I find it really hard to believe that my luck is that bad. When the gland gets worse, my ear bothers me. When my ear bothers me more, I feel dizzier. And this is all coincidence? Whatever.
Last week our sweet guinea pig, Linny, died suddenly. He was fine one night and the next day I found him dead. Matthew was completely devastated. Matthew has never, ever shown emotion like this before. He's an Aspie. He is always so emotionally detached that sometimes I wonder if he really feels anything. He didn't cry when Jason left. He didn't cry when we moved. He doesn't cry when he sees sad movies. In 7 years, I have never seen him show emotion.

When Linny died, Matthew was inconsolable. He cried with such force that his body shook. He hid himself from everyone and muffled his sobs with his blanket. This went on for awhile before I got the other children to bed and took Matthew to my room. We curled up together in the darkness and it was silent for a long time. Then he pulled away from me and quietly cried himself to sleep.

It may not sound like a big deal, but if you knew Matthew, you'd understand. To see such an expression of sadness from a child who has never shown it before, was shocking. I was heartbroken for him. I wanted nothing more than to ease his pain and I felt helpless.

Matthew is ok now and is back to his emotionally-detached little self. We buried Linny without much fanfare and Matthew has not cried at all since the day Linny died. He's been very matter-of-fact about everything.
The weather has been disgustingly hot and humid, typical for July in Georgia. I find myself growing increasingly bitter and resentful as I haul my half dozen children in and out of the van as we run errands all across town. I'm not joyful anymore as I get groceries with six kids in tow. I am struggling to stay positive when I haven't had an hour to do anything for myself in what feels like forever. I need a break. I want to catch my breath. I want to sit down for just a minute. I am frustrated with the military and with the fact that Jason has been away from home for 19 months now and I have never received a single hour of respite care. Not one. So much for military support...

I'm finding it harder and harder to trust in God's plan for our family. Our house hasn't sold. We lost all of our savings when it sat empty before and now it will sit empty again. Things seem to be falling apart faster than I can put them back together again. I don't understand why this is happening.

Last week we were offered a house on base in Washington. I turned it down. They wanted us to start paying rent now, even though I can't move in until September. I politely told them that we already had 2 mortgages and I was going to be living in a camper so I wasn't able to do that right now. And now we wait again. I have no idea where we will live. I don't know if we'll find a house. The prospect of living in the camper forever is looking better and better.

My doubts and worries are just piling up... A brief fever thing caused us to rearrange our plans this week. It's been too hot to go anywhere, although we did brave a trip to the zoo last week. A good friend of mine just moved away to Florida. And next week, I'll be gone myself.

I'm unsure of myself when it comes to driving the camper. I'm worried about staying in unfamiliar places. I'm not sure that my salivary gland infection is going to hold off until I get to Washington. I'm not sure if my dizziness really is caused by something in my ear, and if it is, whether I can handle the altitude changes on our trip out west.

My head is just a jumbled mess of junk right now. I am feeling antsy... ready to get out of here and hit the road and yet terrified to actually do it.

Yep, it's official. I'm in a funk.

Our Day in Pictures

2010-07-05T15:01:00.007-04:00

Our 4th of July went something like this...

*church in the morning, where I embarrassed myself by getting emotional when they had military members stand up during the service*

*quick trip to Target for a few items to put into the last care package we are sending to Jason*

*lunch... and watermelon*

*hooping in the backyard*

*laundry... no day is complete without it*

*baking festive cookies for the kids to decorate*

*silliness*

*more silliness while I cleaned up in preparation for another showing, although the realtor no-showed and I thought about giving him a piece of my mind but had to restrain myself because it would not have been pretty*

*more silliness*

*waiting for the fireworks to start*

*all decked out in jammies and ready to watch the fireworks*

*finally enjoying the show and then rushing like crazy to get back home and beat the traffic*

*two sweet girls passed out on the floor together*

How about you? What did you do to celebrate?

I Did It!!!

2010-07-02T14:14:00.005-04:00

While this may not seem like a big deal to most people, it's a huge deal to me. I did it! I safely attached the camper and drove it home. But the real kicker is that I backed it into our driveway... on the very first try!!!!

I really needed that to boost my confidence. Last night I was so worried about driving and parking the camper that I started to think it'd be easier for me to just stay in Georgia forever. Seriously.

I even had a dream about fiery car crashes. It was awful. This morning I woke up and procrastinated. I didn't get the kids ready and I didn't get dressed. I had all but decided not to ever bring the camper home when my phone rang. It was Jason. And he talked some sense into me just as he always does.I headed to pick up the camper, first stopping at the post office. It should have been a quick errand but nothing is ever fast or easy for us. Instead it took me ten minutes to unload the kids and ten minutes to load them back into the van. It took me all of 60 seconds to ship the package. Go figure.

After that errand we arrived to pick up the camper and I tried every stall tactic I could before finally accepting the keys and hooking up the hitch equipment. And then I sat behind the wheel in my van for a few more minutes as I anxiously anticipated navigating through the narrow side street and out onto the congested road. Then I took a deep breath and just did it.

I'm proud to say that no pedestrians, animals, or mailboxes were harmed on my trek back home. And I did practice turning and backing up in an empty school parking lot near my house. I quickly became confident that I was doing great and headed home to attempt the driveway parking feat.
This is our new home for the next two months. (Or more?)

We have a quaint little table and seating for the kids to eat meals. There's a big bed that pops out of the front of the camper that probably won't be used until Jason comes home because it's hard to pop in and out by myself.
There's a fab pull-out couch where I'll collapse every night.
We have a little kitchen with an oven, stove, microwave, refrigerator, freezer, and sink. It's cozy and I'm sure it will start to feel crowded once we're all inside but for now the kids are thrilled. Let's just hope the novelty doesn't wear off before we get to Washington.
The kids are excited to sleep in bunk beds but I haven't yet figured out how to attach a railing to the sides. I am 100% positive that Matthew will fall out if there's no railing. I know from experience. I'm thinking I might be able to use a toddler bed rail so I'm going to have to try it.

When we got home our sweet neighbors came over to see the camper. They're elderly and the husband is always coming over to loan me tools and the wide spoils the kids with candy and treats. They are my kids' honorary grandparents. Today their brother-in-law was there and he's a veteran and an avid RVer. He commended me on my parking skills and talked me through leveling the camper. He even brought me some leveling blocks and chatted about camp grounds and camping clubs and the whole RV culture that I know nothing about.

This is going to be quite an adventure.

This is our bathroom that we'll share for the coming weeks... Somebody please smack some sense into me. I'm going to let my kids (with all of their assorted poop issues) share this coat closet-sized bathroom? And then I'm going to dump their waste at a dumping station? I have to carry my own sewer hose (aka poop chute) and clean our holding tank? Is it just me or is this sounding less and less fun?
But I guess this is it...

I'm really doing it.

In just about 3 weeks I will load up my crew of six and head west. With our camper. And our dog. And our cat. And our guinea pig.

And most likely without my sanity. I'll be leaving that behind in Georgia.

Cupcakes, Campers, and Chaos

2010-07-01T11:29:00.004-04:00

Yesterday we celebrated Joshua's sixth birthday. It's hard to believe that six years have passed since I held my little baby boy (ok, he was never little since he was 11 lbs, 1 oz at birth, but still...) for the first time and we became a family of four.

Today, Joshua is definitely the most sensitive, compassionate, generous boy that I have ever met. He loves to please others and he loves to give. You couldn't ask for a better brother in this family of 6 siblings. Last night he shared his birthday ice cream with each of them and gave them more than he even ate himself. At six years old, that is love. Sharing your ice cream sundae? That's a big deal!
It was bittersweet to celebrate yet another birthday without Jason here. It was even harder when I hadn't heard from him in days and wasn't even sure he'd get to call Joshua to wish him a happy birthday. Eventually he did call but it was cut short and he never called back. I hate that. It is really just a painful reminder of Jason's absence.
Joshua had a great day and I managed to throw together a Toy Story cake and cupcakes at the last minute. His big birthday plans were ruined when we got a last-minute call to show our house. We ended up cleaning the house and rushing to get out before the realtor arrived. Joshua didn't mind too much though.

I, on the other hand, am really sick of the house not selling. It's mentally and physically exhausting to keep the house ready for showings and then do the quick clean-up and evacuate on a moment's notice. Part of me wants to light a match and laugh hysterically as the house burns to the ground. Part of me wants to try to minimize our losses and just do my best to sell it. And part of me wants to drive away and worry about it later because my husband is coming back and I just want to be with him.

I'm choosing the third option.
I've really been struggling lately to understand where God is taking me in all of this chaos. What is He trying teaching me? How is this all going to end?

I know that I'll never have the answers. But it's only human nature to wonder. I want to think I'm in control of my life... but I'm not.

Why did I end up back in Georgia?
Why is the house not selling?
Why am I suffering from a random attack of dizziness?
Where are we going to live when we get to Washington?

I have no answers.
I'm going to go ahead and just blindly step out in faith again. I did that when we moved back to Georgia and I was never sure that I was making the right choice until I got here. And now I know that God brought me back here for a reason.

So now I'm packing up and heading to Washington, trusting that God will find a family for our house and find a house for our family.

The logistics of this impending trip have my head spinning. The prospect of driving across the country with a camper and 6 kids is daunting. But I think I can do it.
On Tuesday I went to pick up our new (to us) camper. It's a travel trailer with plenty of beds and space for all of us. It's not huge, but somehow when I went to the dealership to pick it up it looked as though it had grown to twice the size it had been when I first decided to get it.

I am wondering how I'm going to drive and tow a camper my myself. How will I park it? I'm more than a bit intimidated. In fact, I was so intimidated that I left the camper at the dealership and told them I'd be back to pick it up later in the week.

Now I have to work up the courage to go get it... And I'm still nervous!
I've decided that I'm going to find the biggest, emptiest parking lot in town and practice parking and backing up with the trailer attached until I'm comfortable enough to bring it home.

We've got less than 4 weeks until we leave Georgia (again!) and I am going to have to get really brave, really fast!
Last night I took six kids to Red Robin for a birthday dinner. By myself.

Maybe I am getting brave?
I'm thrilled to report that we survived. The kids were really well-behaved and Joshua had a bast. Right when they brought him his birthday ice cream sundae, Leila & Sarah both had to go potty. And then it hit me. I am by myself with 6 young children in a crowded restaurant. How do I take two little girls to the potty?

(See what I mean? Sometimes I don't think things all the way through!)

Fortunately I had already cleaned up the kids and the table and everyone was ready to leave. Joshua shared his ice cream and it was gone quite quickly. I ushered the kids out of the restaurant and into the parking lot where Nathan promptly did a full face-plant in a 4-inch puddle of rain water. He was drenched! But in the end, the girls made it to the van and used the fabulous pink potty just in time and we all made it home safe and sound.

Now, if I can handle that I am hoping I can handle a monumental road trip across the country in a camper...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-30T10:59:00.006-04:00

(turning 6 today...)

(Happy Birthday, Joshua! Six years ago you were the sweetest gift I could ever hope to receive.)

I Change My Plans More Often Than Most People Change Their Underpants

2010-06-28T12:18:00.003-04:00

I can't help myself!

I tend to over-analyze situations and, as my dad pointed out, tend to underestimate the negatives. It's that damn optimism in me!

After thinking it through and talking to Jason, I canceled the surgeries. There are a number of reasons, but ultimately I think it's best to wait until I get to Washington. For one, I currently wear Invisalign braces and they would be impossible to wear with the swelling from the salivary gland surgery. If I don't wear them, I'll end up ruining my teeth. Since this is the third time I've had braces and the second time that I've paid out of pocket for them, I'm not letting that happen. Second, I am not supposed to change altitudes after the ear surgery and my trip to visit my dad (in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado) would be ruined. Plus, I'll be traveling less than 3 weeks after the surgery date and if I have any complications, I won't be able to easily seek medical care. It just makes sense to wait.
Yet again, I go and switch things around. I just like to make things difficult I guess?

I'm sure that my trip out west will not be exactly as I plan. I'm sure that we'll end up with road detours, cranky kids, or camping drama. I'm expecting the unexpected.

For now, my best laid plans include stops in North Carolina and Virginia to visit friends and family. From there we'll visit Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Minnesota, Wisconsin, North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, and Wyoming. We will stop and stay with my dad in Colorado before our final leg of our journey takes us through Utah, Idaho, and Oregon... ultimately ending up in Washington!

Whether we'll end up seeing all of the sights we plan to see? I don't know. Whether we'll survive life in a camper? Anyone's guess.

One thing is certain though... I'm going to be in Washington in just a few weeks. I plan to arrive in time to attend the redeployment briefing at Ft. Lewis and leave plenty of time for changes in travel plans and unforeseeable delays. I will be there to welcome Jason home... Now what should I wear?

When It Rains, It Pours

2010-06-25T17:21:00.002-04:00

In my life, nothing is ever simple or easy. And if it is, it's cause for suspicion!

So, it's no surprise that my recent visit to the doctor has landed me a trip to the OR. The timing, as always, is impeccable.
(Rain coming down in buckets, right?)
My stupid (I despise the thing!) salivary gland is not going to be an easy fix. Because I have recurrent infection and a history of multiple salivary gland stones that were unusually large, the doctor said I need to have the entire gland removed. Upon palpation, he was able to feel multiple stones still in the gland. Because of that, the gland has got to go!

The surgery usually involves an incision on the neck, just below the jawline but this doctor is wonderful and is going to make sure I don't end up with a big, ugly scar. He's going to do the surgery from inside my mouth, making an incision under my tongue instead. It will take a bit longer and will have a more uncomfortable recovery for me, but there won't be a scar and there is less risk of nerve damage.
But wait... it gets better.

While I'm having surgery to remove my gland, I also get to have surgery to repair my ear drum. Yay! (Can you hear my sarcasm?)

A second doctor will remove tissue from my outer ear and use it to make a patch over the large hole in my ear drum. It's called tympanoplasty. The last ENT I saw wanted to do the surgery by making an incision along the outside of my ear, from the top of my ear straight down to the lobe. This doctor is doing it all through the ear canal though. No scar!

Why now? Why not wait? The only reason I'm going ahead with the surgeries now is because I have the chance to get both done at once, meaning only one recovery. In addition, both of these doctors are making sure I have no scars. There is no guarantee that I'll get so lucky with the Army doctors in Washington. And I can just get it over with now instead of risking another salivary gland infection between now and when Jason gets home.
On July 9th, I'll be going under the knife for 4 hours of fun and excitement. Thank goodness they are knocking me out. I need to be knocked out right about now.

Homeschooling in the Midst of Chaos

2010-06-24T12:32:00.001-04:00

"You should just send them to school."

"You're making more work for yourself."

"What makes you think you are qualified to teach them?"

"They need to be able to socialize."

"How do you know that they're learning?"
These are all things that I have heard from both family and friends, as well as perfect strangers. If there is one thing I have learned, it's that many people do not understand homeschooling.

I have always planned to homeschool, even before I ever had children. I read about it and saw my aunt do it, and I just knew that God was calling me to do it. It took some convincing for Jason to agree that homeschooling was best for our family, but the more he learned the more he knew that we were making the right choice.

I was so excited when my sister-in-law made the decision to homeschool my nephew. She pulled him out of public school 3 years ago and I know that she has never regretted her decision. It's been such a blessing to have other experienced homeschoolers in my own family. My aunt has homeschooled her two boys from preschool through high school.

Still, I have heard negative comments from my family when we discuss homeschooling. Even my own mother (whose sister homeschools) has criticized my choice.

So, for those who wonder how we do it, here are some answers...
"You should just send them to school." or "You're making more work for yourself."

I get this a lot. To many people, it seems that it would be easier for me to send my kids to public school. I beg to differ.

If my kids were in public school, I'd have to get up even earlier (and we are up early already) just to get the kids all dressed, fed, and out the door so that I could get them to school on time. By the time they got home and finished homework it would be bedtime again. When would I be able to spend time with them that wasn't rushed?

Because we homeschool, I'm able to spend the morning doing schoolwork as the younger kids play. We have time together that is not spent hurrying from one thing to the next. If we want to spend 2 hours learning about earthquakes, we do. We have lunch together and while the younger children nap or have quiet time, I'm able to devote my full attention to Matthew and Joshua. This wouldn't happen if they were away at school all day.

Our evenings are hectic as I prepare dinner and get 6 kids ready for bed by myself. I can't even imagine if we had to add homework into the mix. I don't think I could do it!

"What makes you think you are qualified to teach them?"

Well, I am their mother. Is that not enough?

I know them better than anyone. I know their learning styles. I know their strengths and weaknesses. I know how to get their attention and I know what makes them tick. I know how to challenge them and keep them interested and engaged. I can devote as much time to them as necessary and I can stop to explain anything without the worry of what the rest of the classroom is doing. I can meet each child where they are and tailor my instruction to best meet their needs. Those aren't luxuries that are afforded in public schools.

We use some really great curriculum and I'm confident that I'm smart enough to follow the teaching guides. I don't need a teaching degree to give my children a great education. I just need patience and time. Fortunately, I have a little of both.

"They need to be able to socialize."

Anyone who has met my kids knows that this is not a concern.

The perceived "lack" of socialization is generally a myth perpetuated by those who think that public school is somehow the best place to learn to interact with one's peers. This is just not true.

Where else in society are we, as adults, segregated according to our age? What better way for children to learn socially acceptable behavior than to interact with other children of all ages?

My kids go to Sunday School, play sports, and interact with other homeschooling families. We spend time with friends who have kids of various ages. We have gone on homeschool field trips and we spend our fair share of time in other situations that teach social skills. Our frequent trips to the grocery store, farmer's market, or to the store are all opportunities for my kids to meet new people, demonstrate their good manners, and interact in society in a way that they soon will as young adults.

We are hardly the recluses that some people might think.

"How do you know that they're learning?"

This has been one of the hardest questions for me to answer. My mother has asked this so many times.

How can I prove to you that my child is learning what is appropriate for his age? How can I assure you that he knows as much as his peers?

I know that my children are learning. I see it everyday. I have watched them learn to read, write, and multiply. I have listened as they recite facts and figures. I have beamed with pride when my 7-year old explains (to a teenager) what red and white blood cells do inside our bodies.

From the outside, you might wonder if my kids are learning. And without sitting you down and showing you their portfolio of schoolwork, you might not know. But, I can assure you, they are learning.

Matthew took his first standardized test this year (a requirement in Virginia) and I finally had the proof to lay my mother's concerns to rest. Matthew's total test score was in the 98th percentile. His math score was perfect and was equivalent to a 6th grade level. He is meeting (and often exceeding) the standards set forth for him. Obviously, something is working for us.

While our daily life is quite crazy, homeschooling is one constant in the ever-changing chaos. No matter where we are, we have school together each day. Whether we are in Georgia, Virginia, Arizona, or on the road somewhere, we are learning. With Daddy gone, it's definitely made things more challenging for us, but we are so blessed to be able to have this time together.

In a few short weeks we will again be uprooting ourselves. We will begin our journey west, ultimately ending up in Washington. It will be a long trip, with stops in Virginia and Colorado and everywhere in between, but it will be a great learning adventure. Like last summer, I will continue homeschooling throughout the summer because it affords us the flexibility to skip a week or two of school when Daddy comes home.

If you homeschool, what ways have you found to make it work when it becomes challenging? How do you respond to the concerns of well-meaning friends or relatives who question your ability to educate your children at home?

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-23T08:07:00.002-04:00

-peek-

-a-

-boo-

Numerically Speaking

2010-06-22T08:29:00.005-04:00

1 week of VBS survived (unlike last year!)
4 days of Matthew having mysterious nighttime headaches, finally over

1,000 miles driven this weekend

6 kids glad to be home

1 teenage nephew returned to his rightful owners

88,888 miles on our van (68,000 of those since Feb 2008)

49 days until we leave Georgia

0 offers on our house
2 months of traveling cross-country in a camper starting in August

36 states that my kids have visited (soon to be 45 once we make it to Washington)
2 summers spent homeschooling on the road

5 more doctor's appointments before I leave Georgia

2 hours spent at the doctor yesterday with 6 cranky children while I had my eyes checked
4 times I was asked if I had quads

15 times I was told "You have your hands full!"

18 months since Jason left home
3 months until Jason comes home again

178 days since I last saw Jason

1 deployment almost over