2018?!

How is it 2018 already?!

Obviously, 2017 was a busy year for me.  As evidenced by my absence here (and many other places), my family life was even crazier than usual.

I'm not sure that I can even accurately sum up all of the changes that occurred last year.

For starters, one huge change was our move across the country.  After 3 years in Georgia we are now back in the Pacific northwest!  Anyone who has moved can understand how much work it is just to move across town, let alone move across the continent.  We drove from GA to WA with the kids, the dog, and our camper.  We stopped at some great National Parks (Yellowstone, Badlands, etc.) and really enjoyed our trip.  Once we arrived in WA, we moved into our new house that we purchased sight unseen while we were still in Georgia.  That was an adventure!  Then we had the usual relocation recovery (perfectly summed up here by another military spouse).

Before leaving Georgia, I finally realized my dream of becoming a midwife.  I graduated from college (summa cum laude!) and completed the necessary exams to become a midwife and IBCLC.  I obtained a midwifery license and officially attended one birth as a midwife, no longer a student.  It was an exciting and stressful time for my entire family.  I wasn't sure I would have time to finish everything before we moved again.

The kids have really been busy.  Matthew is starting to drive (!?!) and he is playing baseball for our local high school.  We still homeschool but he's there for the sports.  Josh has his first job as a babysitter for a local family and is learning computer programming.  Leila and Sarah, my sweet twins who were just babies when I started this blog, are totally tweens now.  They've started to shift away from the childhood dolls and toys and toward talking with friends and listening to music.  Nathan and Ryan will be 10 soon and they are just as wild as ever.  Seven (Amelia) is 5 now and still my precocious little girl.  Violet is 3 and still very much the baby of the family.

I have so much more to write about and so many things that I want to preserve here.  I have a terrible memory and this blog has always helped me remember the craziness that has been my life.  I probably have 500,000 photos to share.  If you follow me on instagram, you have seen some of them.

My goal this year is to get back to blogging!  I am getting ready to have surgery next month and I plan to use my time recovering in bed to update my blog.  In the meantime, I'll share some photos.

Moving Day 2017 (Yes, Matthew is as tall as me now!)

Last morning in Georgia

Early morning coffee stop on the way out of town

Wisconsin

South Dakota

Wyoming

Yellowstone NP

Old Faithful

Mt. Rainier (with my dad, Granddad With No Hair)

First days in our new home

Midwife Heather (that's me doing what I love)

The Firstborn

At times in this crazy journey that is parenthood I've had 4 kids under age four, 6 kids under six, or 8 kids under twelve.  I've had two or three or five kids in diapers.  I've breastfed 4 little ones at the same time.  (Well, not exactly at the same time... they took turns in pairs, obviously.)  I have a van full of car seats and yet I still remember what life was like with "just" one.

A few days ago I looked sincerely into the store clerk's eyes as she rang up my purchase and I told her how hard it was with one child.  It was.  I remember the fear that overcame me as I buckled tiny, newborn Matthew into his car seat twelve years ago.  I remember wincing with every bump in the road as I huddled over his seat in the back of the car, sure that he'd break if we didn't drive more slowly, while Jason took us home for the first time.  I remember spending my nights awake, watching him breathe, afraid to sleep for fear that something would happen to him.  I remember being shocked and scared that I was allowed to take this baby home, that I was responsible for his LIFE.  I remember the awful adjustment to sleepness nights, the awkward moments of breastmilk soaking through my shirt at work, the pain of leaving my baby, the overwhelming responsibility, and the realization that I was somebody's mother.  We survived potty training, weaning, and the toddler years.  He learned how to walk and talk and I learned how to let go a little bit.  I taught him to read and write.  He taught me to trust in my own instincts and accept my imperfections.  We both learned from our mistakes.  We both grew up.  And here we are, 12 years later, and I remember how HARD it has been sometimes but I am so grateful for this experience together.

Twelve wonderful, challenging, beautiful years...

Saying Good-bye

My grandfather passed away today.

One of the hardest parts of military life is leaving behind your extended family and knowing you may only see them once every year or two...
Knowing that the next trip home may be for a funeral...
Knowing that your family is growing and changing without you...
Knowing that "home" isn't really your home anymore...

I didn't get to go "home" this year.  It's been over a year since our last trip.  I haven't met my one-year old niece yet.  Jason's parents and sisters have never even met Amelia.  

I will always be glad we were able to take our kids to see Pop-Pop one more time last spring.  He still remembered us, still didn't mind talking military life with Jason and still enjoyed seeing the kids.

My grandfather served in the Air Force and lived all over the world.  He put down roots in the DC area and so that is where my dad was born, where I grew up, and the place we call home.  It is fitting that he will be honored with a military burial at Arlington National Cemetery, right down the road from home.  

I can't help but look at my grandfather and be reminded of my dad.  It breaks my heart to think of us living so far away and seeing each other so infrequently.  Spending only a few days together every year is just not enough.  The years pass so quickly.  

So it looks like there will be a trip home for me this year after all.  Sadly, it will be a trip to say good-bye.

Reality

Adding a new baby into the mix has actually been so much easier than I could have imagined.  Of course, I'm pretty sure my perspective is a bit warped from having two sets of twins.  

Ameila is the easiest baby!  She's always happy and she loves to sleep.  I have never seen a baby sleep so much.  I've never had a baby that didn't nurse around the clock.  She's just very content.  I am so totally in love with her.

We have had "snow" twice this winter.  What counts for snow in southern Arizona is nothing compared to what New England is seeing right now.  But we'll take it.  As soon as the sun came up after I took this picture, the snow was gone.  Instant melting.

Breastfeeding was rough for the first 8 weeks because of Amelia's tongue tie.  (Working on a post about that!)  Since the laser surgery, things have been steadily improving.  I think we have finally turned the corner and she's nursing almost normally now.

We have also spent the last few months worrying about Matthew's arm.  He broke both bones in October, had surgery to reduce the fractures, and spent 6 weeks in a cast.  When the cast came off, his arm looked awful.  The x-rays showed that one of the bones had not healed properly.  At that point, the doctor here in town told us to wait a few more weeks and see if it straightened out.

Matthew spent another 6 weeks in a brace and his arm still looks bent.  That picture above is 3 months out from surgery.  The bump is where the bone is still sticking out.  We finally got a second opinion from a new doctor and the x-rays showed a 15 degree angulation.  He had a 65 degree angulation when he broke it.

When we returned to the second doctor for a follow-up visit, the x-ray showed that the bone is slowly straightening out so he won't need another surgery.  But he still favors his other arm and cries whenever he bumps the bad arm against something.  It's been no fun for him and I think his behavior has suffered as a result.  His ABA therapist thinks the arm bothering him is the source of some of his outbursts lately.  Meanwhile, it's Little League season and I'm terrified to let him play with his arm like that.

One amazing thing I've noticed lately is that Matthew has formed a very strong bond with Amelia.  He loves her and he actually expresses that toward her.  This is a big deal!  I was a little worried when Seven turned out to be a girl, but Matthew is great with her and he likes to hold her.  He really enjoys the fact that she has dark hair like him.  Seeing him with her makes my heart so happy.  I've never seen him like this before.

A few days after Amelia's birth, I received a package in the mail from my grandmother.  In it were two sweaters, a hat, and a pair of booties.  All pink.  I couldn't figure out how on earth my almost 87-year old grandmother was able to make them so quickly.  After all, we had just found out that Seven was a girl!  Then I saw the note from her explaining that the sweater set was mine when I was a baby.  She kept it for all these years and now Amelia is wearing it.

It also appears that we have our first thumb sucker.  You may remember that Leila and Sarah were both finger suckers and it was a tough habit to break.  None of the four boys sucked fingers and Matthew was the only one of my babies to take a pacifier but gave it up when he was a few months old.  I'm hoping this doesn't come back to bite me in the butt 4 years from now, but Amelia just loves that thumb.

(She always sucks the left thumb and covers her face or touches her hair with her right hand.)

We are in that rough time of the year with school right now.  It's almost spring and we are more than halfway through our school year, but it is a challenge to start planning for testing and our curriculum for the coming year.  We haven't been to our homeschool group meetings since before Amelia's birth because we can't fit all of the car seats in our van.  We're on a waiting list for our new van.  (Yes, a waiting list!)

My dad came to visit a couple of weeks ago and he brought my brother with him.  They are our first visitors since Amelia was born and it's the first time my dad has been to my house in years.  They only had two days with us, but it was great.  We went on a short hike in the canyon and Jason and I were able to take Amelia and sneak away for dinner by ourselves.  That never happens.  It was a lot of fun and also made me homesick.  We're more than halfway through our time here in Arizona and I'm excited to see where we go next.

For right now, this is reality in our house.  Same crazy, different day.  Always loud, always fun!