Monday, September 05, 2011


That's how I'm feeling lately.


Jason is involved in a lot of training for his unit's upcoming deployment right now. And while I'm certainly grateful that he is not going on this deployment, I'm feeling guilty that he won't be joining them. It's something I can't really explain very well.

Then we have our upcoming move to Arizona. As expected, Jason still does not have his orders. And no matter how many times he reassures me that he will get his orders in time, I still have my doubts. If he doesn't have his orders this week, I'll be starting the packing process myself. No orders this week means no movers... which leaves me doing the packing and moving while Jason is gone again. Right now I am stuck in one of those moments when I think the Army life will be the end of my sanity.

If the Army life doesn't make me totally insane, my kids might! Nathan and Ryan have just turned 3 and are officially NOT potty trained. My other kids were all trained well before 3, so I'm having trouble not comparing them. Ryan is peeing in the potty with consistency, but the poop consistently remains on the floor. Both boys think that poo belongs anywhere but in the potty for some reason.

I've been feeling very emotional lately. I think all of the changes in our life right now, combined with the incredible isolation I already feel, are getting to me. I feel so lonely here and just never found my niche. We never found a church that we love and I was never a part of the clique of twin moms. Perhaps that's why it's not too difficult to say good-bye... there's hardly anyone to say good-bye to.

The next 3 weeks are going to be filled with change, stress, and excitement. I have no idea what is going to happen but I'm ready to find out!
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