Here's My Ride

I think one of the first few questions people ask me when they find out that I have six children, is "What do you drive?" Picturing six car seats in one vehicle is hard to imagine unless you've seen it. Fitting a quad stroller inside any vehicle is difficult to imagine.

Let me introduce you to my ride, aka "The Tank."

Our current family vehicle is a 2006 Chevy Express 3500 12-passenger van. It is definitely not my dream car. Far from it. But it works for us... for now. It also has almost 120,000 miles on it and will likely be replaced before we leave Washington. (My dream vehicle at this point is a Mercedes Sprinter.)

We have 3 rows of bench seats in our van. The first two rows have 3 seats each and the last row has 4 seats. Realistically, you could never fit 12 people in this van when there are car seats installed, but there is a decent amount of space.
(Above is the "before" picture and below is what our van looks like right now, after switching out a bench seat to accommodate new car seats.)
Our car seat arrangement has changed several times over the last couple of years. Last summer I moved Matthew and Joshua out of their 5-pt harnesses and into high-back booster seats. They ride in the last row of the van. Leila and Sarah ride in the middle row, in 5-pt harnesses. Nathan and Ryan are still rear-facing in the front row.

Right now, the big boys are in Graco Turboboosters in the outboard seats. They will have to stay in the high-back boosters until we get a new van because there is one glaring defect in the Chevy Express van-there are no rear headrests! This is a huge safety issue and is one reason that we'll look at the Sprinter when we finally outgrow this van. (The Sprinter has headrests and lap/shoulder belts in every seating position.)

Leila and Sarah recently got new car seats. They now ride in the Britax Frontier seats, which replaced their old True Fit seats. The process of installing seats in the middle row of our van has been an extremely difficult one. The seat belt buckles in the Express don't come out in the crack of the seat, which makes car seat installation often difficult and sometimes impossible. Also, our van did not come with LATCH in the middle row. The only LATCH connections were in the two outboard seats of the first row.

We solved the LATCH dilemma by replacing the middle bench in our van. I purchased a matching bench seat from the same kind of van on craigslist. It has two LATCH connections and we installed it in the middle row of the van. Now I have 4 LATCH positions, 4 tether positions, and all 6 seats in the front two benches have lap/shoulder belts. This means that I can easily install car seats! Now my girls are riding in the Frontier seats and have plenty of space between them. The seats were extremely easy to install with the LATCH connections in the new bench.

Nathan and Ryan are starting to outgrow their seats in the rear-facing position. Although the weight limit for rear-facing in their seats (My Ride 65) is 40 lbs, both boys' heads are only about 2 inches from the top of the seat shell. I'd guess that they'll be forward-facing by the end of the year. They'll be 3 in September. Their seats will just turn around and we'll still be able to use the LATCH connections to install them easily.

(That blue thing under their seats is a pool noodle, used to adjust the incline of the seats.)
One of the best features of my van is the large cargo area. Large, of course, is relative. When "The Beast" is back there, it doesn't feel so large. The Runabout Quad does not fold at all, so it's great to have a vehicle wide enough to accommodate such a wide load. And when I go shopping I just toss the bags in the seats of the stroller. That's pretty cool! And at least I don't usually have to use the special towing hitch that came with "The Beast."

We do still need to tow a trailer just to fit all of our gear when we travel. We have a tiny bit of room for extra passengers when we aren't piled full of luggage. Our dog always rides on his blanket in the back seat, between Matthew and Joshua. That's about all we can fit in the van though!
Up in the front, I have my essentials-a jumbo bottle of hand sanitizer, a stash of CDs and DVDs, and a power strip for charging phones, video games, GPS, etc. I use a little cleaning caddy to hold everything because the van doesn't have any kind of console between the front seats. Jason installed a DVD player when we bought the van and I have silently thanked him for that every time we go on a trip.

There you have it... Now you can see why I have had soldiers try to get into my van, mistaking it for the shuttle on base.

The Countdown Is On

Less than 3 weeks until we head east! I still can't believe it's already time to hit the road again.

I'm trying to focus more on the fun of traveling and less on the thought of being on the operating table. I am not looking forward to being in the hospital but I will be so glad to get some of my problems resolved. Every time I eat, I'm reminded that my salivary gland needs to come out. Secretly I am hoping they will let me take home the rest of the stones that are in there so that I can add them to my collection.

My children are excited about our upcoming trip and seeing their family and friends. There has been a lot of whispering about what they'll get to do when they visit Granddad-With-No-Hair and I'm pretty sure they are up to something. Matthew has also been busy writing letters (that have not yet been mailed) to a bunch of his friends in Georgia to announce his impending arrival. We have plotted out our camp sites across the country and who we'll visit in each state.

Yesterday my mom even informed me that she might be retired when we come to visit. Retired!! This is a huge deal to me because, for as long as I have known my mother, her life has revolved around her job. I can't even picture her not working. I think she'll be so much happier and more relaxed and I would be willing to bet that her health improves without the stress of work. She has a government job and she isn't old enough to retire yet, but she has an option to retire early if she chooses to take it. I have my fingers crossed that she decides to do it and that it does make her happy.

I have a few final thoughts on the great car seat debate. As one commenter pointed out, there is one critical bit of information to remember. Regardless of what car seat you use or how it's installed, it's extremely important that the car seat straps are correctly tightened and that the chest clip is at armpit level for the child. As many car seat techs have said, the safest car seat is one that fits your child, fits your vehicle, and is being used correctly.

Despite what some people may think, I really believe that the people who are most passionate about car seat safety speak out because they care about children being safe. Nobody wants to see a child get hurt, especially when it's preventable. This is not about who is a better parent. It's not about selling more car seats. It really just comes down to keeping kids safe. I read a very good editorial in the Chicago Tribune that highlights the reasoning behind the new guidelines and dispels some of the myths around them. And there's a very informative video here that explains each of the recommendations.

One of the best things I've read recently was a blog post about activism. The post was written last year, but was being passed around again last week in response to the car seat discussions. There are so many parents that are quick to judge one person's choices as an attack on their own choices. I think we've all come across this at some point. I don't think most of us are making our parenting decisions based on what other people think. As I said last week, I also don't think that our choices are a reflection of condemning anyone who chooses differently. Actually, I believe that those who are outspoken about certain topics are usually the people who have struggled themselves. They just want to tell other parents what they wish someone would have told them. Whether it's car seat safety, breastfeeding, or something else, the motivation behind the activism is often the same and rarely (I believe) comes from a desire to feel superior to anyone else.

Anyway, that's enough about that. Next I'll be stirring up more trouble with some discussion about birth. Seriously. I've just read an eye-opening new book about birth in the United States and I'll get to share some of that very soon. Then I'll zip up my flame proof suit and hide under my bed.

P.S.-Military families- If you have a minute, go over to my Blog Frog community and read the post from Annette. She's a military mom and her son is about to deploy. She's having a hard time and could really use any helpful tips or advice from those of you who have experience dealing with deployments. Do any of you military moms know of a way she can connect with other mothers facing a child's deployment?

New Car Seat Safety Guidelines

Unless you don't watch the news or don't read anything on Facebook, you've probably heard about the new car seat guidelines. I think the word has spread throughout the mom community in record time. If you don't know what I'm talking about, the NHTSA and the AAP issued new standards yesterday for car seat safety. The specific guidelines for each age group can bee seen here.

Basically, these organizations are finally suggesting that parents follow the safety standards that car seat safety experts have been recommending for the last several years. The new guidelines direct parents to keep children in a rear-facing car seat until at least age 2, then moving them into a forward-facing seat with a 5-point harness. Children that outgrow the 5-point harness should be in a booster seat until age 12 or until they are at least 4'9" and able to fit properly into a vehicle seat belt.

Much of this sounds like common sense to those who have researched car seat safety. But to many people (especially those without young children) this is stirring up some controversy. I have read some people leaving nasty comments about the new guidelines and heard others use that wonderful phrase, "Well, when I was a child we didn't even have car seats and I'm fine!" As a friend pointed out, if they had been in an accident they wouldn't be around to tell everyone that they're fine. Right? I just don't understand the reasoning for not following these simple guidelines.

It never ceases to amaze me that there are parents who do not safely restrain their children (or themselves) in a vehicle. A friend of mine once told me about how she holds her baby on her lap in the front seat of her van on long trips while her husband drives. A baby. On her lap. Not restrained. I just can't believe people really do that. Do they not realize that, in a crash, that baby becomes a flying object that shoots through the windshield? Mommy's arms are just not going to protect that sweet baby in a collision.

Then there are people that don't use car seats correctly, for whatever reason. A child is safest when in a rear-facing seat. Everyone would be safer in rear-facing seats! But many parents turn their children's seats around too quickly, placing them at increased (and unnecessary) risk. A toddler can safely ride rear-facing, even if their legs are bent. When comparing risks, the risk of a broken neck trumps a broken leg any day as far as I'm concerned. (Broken legs = cast it, broken neck = casket.)

(Here's Joshua when he was around 30 lbs, still rear-facing.)

There are car seats on the market today that allow children to remain rear-facing up to 40 lbs. Nathan and Ryan have a seat with a 40-lb limit and are still rear-facing. Their legs are bent but they love to travel in the van and don't seem to care at all about the position of their seat. My big boys stayed in their rear-facing seats until they were 35 lbs (which was the limit of the seat.) They didn't end up bow-legged. I wish that I could have kept Leila & Sarah rear-facing longer (they could still be rear-facing now) but our van could not accommodate all 4 rear-facing seats. You are limited by what car seats you have and by what vehicle you drive, of course.

Speaking of vehicles, my van is awful when it comes to car seat installation. We only have LATCH in two seat positions, we have no headrests in any of the back seats at all, we only have 3 tether anchors, and our seat belt buckles have an unusual placement. It's impossible to install certain seats in our van. For those with big families, I've heard that the Ford full-size van has better options than they Chevy (what we have) and that the Dodge Sprinter (what I have always wanted) has even better seating arrangements.

Still, vehicle issues aside, you can find the safest seat for your child and your vehicle that still follows the guidelines. There are so many seats available that you don't have to pay a fortune or buy a new vehicle to find something that works. I was able to keep Matthew and Joshua in a 5-point harness until last summer, only needing to switch their seats because of the lack of tethers in my van. They're both in belt-positioning boosters now. Matthew does have friends his age (8 years old) that don't ride in booster seats, but these kids are in adult seat belts that don't fit them properly. That's just not safe.

Sure, it's a pain to buckle kids in and out of car seats. Yes, it can be inconvenient. But it is worth it to keep them safe. Car accidents are the number one cause of death for children in the U.S. The extra time that it takes to buckle a child into their car seat will be worth it if there is an accident. It takes me forever to go anywhere with 6 kids in car seats but I just leave myself extra time for all of the buckling and unbuckling. It's definitely worth it.

I have always been concerned about vehicle safety. One of my biggest fears is getting into a car accident with my children on board. I suppose that my concern may, in part, be from past experiences. I walked away from 2 major car accidents thanks to my seat belt. Not many people get hit by a dump truck and live to tell about it. I also lost a cousin (a child) to a drunk driver and my brother-in-law is in a wheelchair because of a drunk driver. You just never know when someone else's driving is going to affect you.

I see it this way... There is only so much that I can really control when it comes to safety on the road. I can't control the other drivers around me. I can't control the way my vehicle will react in a collision. I can't control the weather or the road conditions. I can control my kids and their car seats. One of the best ways I can keep them safe is just to follow the car seat guidelines.

Remember the guidelines listed here.

The NHTSA recommendations:

Select a car seat based on your child's age, height, and weight.
Keep your child in the proper car seat for as long as possible.
All children under 13 should ride in the back seat.

Stay safe!

Car seats again

No update yet on the stupid library situation... I'm working on finding out who controls the library board. I'll update when I figure that out.

I know I've posted about this already but I have to share this again. It's too important not to share. This is a link to a video from ABC news.

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=3674114&affil=wjbf

It's difficult to think about so many parents don't... but if it's your child that is injured or killed in a crash then it's too late. Now is the time to make sure your child will be safe if you are ever involved in a crash.

It kills me to see parents turning their rear facing seats around the day the baby turns one or sometimes even sooner. It is safest for children to remain rear facing as long as possible. Our seats have a rear facing limit of 33 lbs. It is best to keep your child rear facing until they reach the maximum weight limit. Personally, I don't care if baby can't see the driver or you think it's more fun for them to be facing forward. Bottom line is that it's not as safe. And if you're worried about their legs being all scrunched up, just remember that a broken leg after a crash is much easier to fix than a broken neck!

Read these if you still aren't convinced:
http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/StayRearFacing.aspx
http://www.car-safety.org/rearface.html
http://carsafety4kids.com/rearfacing.html
http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bsafety/0,,9r5v,00.html?arrivalSA=1&cobrandRef=0&arrival_freqCap=1&pba=adid=13497414

The other issue is properly restraining older children. Children should stay in a 5-pt harness for as long as possible. Our seat has a weight limit of 80 lbs. I was 80 lbs until middle school! I know my children will be in their 5-pt harnesses for a long, long time. Too many parents make the mistake of putting a child into a belt-positioning booster too soon. Buy the seat with the higher weight limit and 5-pt harness and keep your child in it until they hit the weight limit.

Another important tip is to use the car seat tethers. If your vehicle has LATCH, use the LATCH points up to the weight limit specified on your car seat. Then tether the seat to the vehicle too. Our car seats have a strap that attaches from the back of the seat to the hook on the floor of the vehicle. I have all 4 seats tethered in our van, 2 rear facing and 2 forward facing.

I guess some people don't see the big deal with car seat safety. I have friends who don't buckle their kids, don't use car seats, or turn their kids too early. I don't want to appear judgmental but should I keep my mouth shut and pray that they don't get into an accident? I lost a cousin to a drunk driver and my brother-in-law is forever bound to a wheelchair because of a car accident. I have survived 2 serious accidents that I "shouldn't" have walked away from... but did. If you think it won't happen to you, think again.