Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Coffee, Homeschooling, and Poop

Which of these things just doesn't belong?

(If you said coffee than you are reading the wrong blog. Because I live in the land of coffee and I love it!)
Today my morning went something like this...

I woke up at 5:45 am when Jason was leaving for PT. I immediately noticed that our power was still out. We had a huge wind storm last night and there are trees and branches down everywhere. Our power went out at bedtime last night and was off for 12 hours.

While brushing my teeth using the light from my almost-dead cell phone, I made a toothpaste-y mess on the sink. While getting dressed in my pitch black closet, I put on pants with a hole in the crotch.

Just as I had started getting the kids dressed so we could go get breakfast, the power came back on. This was a good thing because I didn't want to drag six kids out in the cold morning air, but I had kinda been looking forward to hitting the Starbucks down the street. Ahh, well. I made a peppermint mocha at home and made oatmeal instead.

Things were going well until I set my coffee down on the table in our classroom/playroom. (I may need to rethink this set up, so I might be asking for input on this soon!) The big boys were just getting started with their studies when Nathan came out of his room and interrupted. I took him back to his room to play and within seconds I heard Joshua yelling. Ryan had spilled my coffee. From the way it sounded, I expected disaster but it was just a small spill on the coffee-colored coffee. Not bad.

Then things really got ugly.

I took Ryan in to play with Nathan and sent Matthew to get a baby gate from the garage. The babies easily climb the baby gates so I haven't put any up since we've been here, but I figured it would slow them down and buy me time. Matthew couldn't find the gate and when I was distracted and talking to him, Ryan made a great escape. This time he poured my entire coffee onto his Legos, the table, the carpet, and a few school books. Why did I set the coffee back down on the table? Good question. I will plead momentary insanity.
What happened next is something that I couldn't even make up, it's that good.

After getting Ryan and Nathan into their room and putting up the gate, I returned to the playroom/classroom to clean up the coffee. Finally finished, I got back to the boys' lessons. It was then that Leila called me. "Mommy, it smells like poop!"

My heart raced for a second as I tried to remembered if I'd let the dog out today. I had. But the babies both had clean diapers and clothes on, so surely it wasn't them. Right?


Standing in the doorway of the babies' room was a completely naked Nathan. Next to him on the floor was a neat pile of clean clothes and completely dry and clean diaper. Upon further inspection, I discovered the source of the odor. There was a huge, dirty poop smear across the top of the baby gate. There was no poop anywhere else. Everyone was clean, the toys were clean, the walls were spotless, and the carpet held no tell-tale signs of poo disaster. But there, on the baby gate, was the rankest smear of doodoo.

Why does Nathan like to get undressed? Why do we find him naked in his crib in the morning? When will I devise a plan to keep him diapered and clothed? These are serious questions, folks.
Eventually, I made the mistake of googling "homeschooling with a toddler" and found that this just will not work. One blogger's advice was that if you are the type who likes to have school done by noon, you might need to rethink your plans. Umm, you think?

I abandoned the idea of getting school done in the morning, as we have always done. Instead, I waited until the "evil babies"-I mean Nathan and Ryan- took a nap. I'm not sure how we'll do things from here on out, but I've got to figure out a way to keep the chaos contained.

We already bungee cord our chairs to the table. I can't put up gates in the important areas, and the babies climb them anyway. I put Nathan's clothes and diapers on backwards but he still escapes.
I'm living in a nuthouse.
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