Friday, August 21, 2009


It seems that, for some of my children, their nursing days may be coming to an end. I've been afraid to say anything because I just knew I'd utter the dreaded "w" word and someone would un-wean themselves.It seems that Sarah is no longer nursing. Could it really be? After more than 3 years, is she really done? She hasn't nursed since last month. I think it's safe to pronounce her weaned!
Ironically (or not so ironically) Leila is still nursing. I guess it just proves that identical twins really are not identical. Leila is potty-trained. Sarah isn't. Leila is still nursing. Sarah isn't.
One afternoon, a few weeks ago, Leila was nursing with Nathan when Joshua and Matthew took a sudden interest in "milkies." Matthew wanted to remember what it tasted like and Joshua said, "ice cream that's warm." I had to laugh! Joshua weaned when the girls were about 6 months old so I'm surprised he remembers much from that long ago. When I told Jason about our conversation the first thing he asked was if I had nursed Matthew or Joshua when they asked about it. I guess that proves that he really does think I'm a tree-hugging hippy. I glared at him and said that I hadn't nursed any 6-year olds recently.
No, I'm not nursing 6-year olds. Or even 5-year olds. In fact, I'm only nursing one 3-year old and two not-quite-one-year olds. For the first time in almost a year, I'm only nursing three of my children. It sounds so strange, doesn't it?
As I look back at these beautiful photos, my heart is heavy. My sweet friend Nicole is a very talented photographer and she took these photos for me when the girls were about a year old. They are the only professional nursing photos that I have (of any of my kids) so they are very special. Now I find myself remembering what it felt like to hold Leila and Sarah on my lap while they nursed together. And I'm sad that I'll never get to do that again.
However, I will cherish each moment with Nathan and Ryan that much more. I think time goes by twice as fast when you have twins. If I was still in Georgia I'd be begging Nicole to take some photos of Nathan and Ryan nursing-maybe even of Leila nursing with them. I love this time, love holding my babies, love nursing them and smelling their sweet smell. I don't want it to end!
All too soon these sweet, gentle nurslings morph into wild, loud toddlers. And I'm just not ready for that. (Will I ever be ready?)
So today I'm going to hold my babies close. I'm going to revel in the greatness of extended breastfeeding. I'm going to remember Leila wrapping her chubby arm around Sarah's neck as they nursed together on my lap. I'm going to wonder why they won't fit on my lap together anymore. I'm going to smile because I have 2 more sweet babies who will still throw their arms around each other and nurse on my lap. And I'm going to count my blessings.
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