The Lump

There's a lump in my throat and I can't get it to go away. I think when I finally let the tears fall then I will be ok. But I'm not ready to accept that part just yet. Hopefully time will fly by and it will be October and Jason's graduation before we know it. And then I want time to slow down so we can enjoy the few months we'll have with Jason before he leaves again on his deployment.On the other hand, if the next 10 months fly by then I might not be able to remember each moment of life with these precious children. These babies will change and grow so quickly that I might not be able to recall the days of diapers and milky grins. I don't want that either.

I wonder how much the babies will change before Jason returns. I can't believe how much they have changed just since their birth 4 months ago. Their light brown hair has fallen out, replaced by a shimmering blonde. They look bald right now. My first bald babies.

Their eyes are so blue. That's the one (and only?) thing they inherited from me. Despite the fact that 5/6 of our kids look like Jason, 4/6 got my blue eyes. Score!

I wonder what Jason will think when he sees them again and they look so different.

2008 was a big year for us. Maybe the biggest yet. Our home grew by (another) 4 feet. It makes me wonder what 2009 will bring. Things can't possibly get any crazier, right? Right?

My resolutions this year are to travel a lot, make more time for my children, enjoy life as much as possible, move home to Virginia, and to just follow where God leads me. It's a wild ride and I'm so glad that I'm not the one driving! I'm just going to sit back and see what happens.

It's much more fun that way!

Speaking of lumps, I've got more than just the one in my throat. Tomorrow I go in for an ultrasound of a mass in my breast. It's not a plugged duct but it might be a cyst. The doctor called it "suspicious." My grandmother is a breast cancer survivor so of course that thought crossed my mind. But I'm not even going to go there. I'm nursing 4 children. My odds of getting breast cancer should be non-existent, right? Anyway, prayers are appreciated and I will (of course) update with good news tomorrow.

Also, watch out for my first giveaway tomorrow! Details coming soon...

Lastly, I want to congratulate my friend Brandi who just had her 4th child this morning. She had another unassisted birth and just makes it look so easy. I can't believe we've been friends for 7 years now. Great job, Brandi! Welcome to the world Calla Elizabeth!