Thursday, August 09, 2007

Two Lines

And NO, I'm not pregnant again! (yet)

I've been reading blog posts about that magical day when you discover that you're pregnant. I just thought I'd join in and share my story with everyone as part of Memory Lane Monday by (So I'm a few days late... AND?)

With my first pregnancy I remember thinking that I'd never get pregnant. It's a long story, but I had reason to suspect that I'd never get pregnant. Fortunately, that was not the case.

I remember that day in March 2002 when I thought I had the flu and Jason suggested I take a pregnancy test. I laughed at the idea! Of course I went and bought a 2-pack of tests (one for the next month of course) and hurried home to use one.

I went into the bathroom and peed on the stick. I watched in shock as 2 lines quickly appeared. I felt flushed and dizzy and I grabbed the bathroom counter to keep myself from falling. Everything started to spin and I yelled for Jason. He came rushing in and I told him in a shaky voice that I was pregnant!

Fast forward to October 2003. Jason was leaving for the Army the next day and we'd been hoping to get pregnant either before, or soon after, he finished Basic Training. We couldn't get the timing right and he had been scheduled to leave in September but was delayed for 2 weeks.

My period wasn't due for 5 more days, but on October 6, 2003 I decided to test anyway. I watched as one bright pink line appeared. I was disappointed and threw the test in the trash. I didn't even tell Jason.

Later that afternoon I used the bathroom and, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted that test. With what appeared to be a faint shadow of a second line. Upon closer inspection I discovered that yes indeed, there was a second line. of course I immediately tested again and another faint line appeared.

All day I tested (7 tests in just a few hours) and watched the lines grow darker. The following June, my little (HUGE) baby boy was born.

When J was 11 months old I noticed that I felt strange. My cycles hadn't resumed yet, but I thought I might be pregnant. I took a test that day and saw that same faint second line that I had seen 2 years before. I didn't test again... I was sure I was pregnant again!

Two days later I started bleeding. I began having horrible cramps (like contractions) and lost a lot of blood and large clots. A visit to the ER confirmed that I had miscarried. They called it a "chemical pregnancy." I guess it was supposed to make me feel better... it didn't. To this day I wonder if my cesarean had anything to do with my miscarriage.

Fast forward 4 months. August 2005. We were in the middle of a cross-country move. We stopped at a hotel on our way home to VA to visit family. Two weeks later Jason had to report for duty at our new home. I stayed behind at my mom's for a few days until our house was finished being built. Closing was scheduled for the 31st.

Just a few short days before I was supposed to leave to drive to our new home, I have some cramping. I assume that my period is starting and go to the bathroom. There some light pink spotting but nothing else. On a whim, I take a pregnancy test in my mom's bathroom.

Sure enough, 2 lines immediately appear. And I wonder what life will be like with 3 children 3 and under. Little did I know...

I remember calling Jason to tell him the news. We were so relieved that our new house had 4 bedrooms. One for each kid, right? It would be months later, on December 30th (my birthday!) that we discover the true shocker-twin girls.

Today I sit here amazed that I am not pregnant again yet. And relieved. I've never gone so long between pregnancies and I'm excited about the thought of watching these girls get a little older before they get to become big sisters. When I watch S carry her babies around so lovingly, I know they will be great when the time comes. And then I watch L fling the baby to the floor by its feet and I am terrified.
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