Monday, March 05, 2007


I'm a little paranoid. I always have been but it's gotten worse since last fall. I wake up at night and worry. I am afraid to take my kids to the park. Why?? Germs.

I hate throwing up. I can't stand it and do my best to avoid it at all costs. Last fall my kids got a nasty stomach virus that left me cleaning vomit for several days. It was... AWFUL. Ever since then my heart skips a beat when one of them wakes at night and climbs into me bed. That's what they do when they are sick. They like to get in my bed or have me lay in their bed.

My close friend had the tummy bug at her house last week. We were over there on a Monday and on Tuesday morning she picked her son up from school because he projectile vomited. Fun, right? I spent the next week paranoid out of my mind that we'd get sick too.

Last night we went out to dinner. Nothing fancy, just pancakes because it was Sunday. In the middle of the night I woke up drenched in sweat and feeling faint. I put a cold washcloth on my head and then I was freezing. I took my temperature and it was 96.4. I was shivering and shaking but still sweating. I feared a tummy bug was beginning.

Today all has gone well so far. But tonight I am not starving like I usually would be by now. I feel a little "off" but I'm not sure why. The thing with the paranoia is that I sometimes make myself queasy just by thinking about it. I'm also a total germ-a-phobe. I obsessively and compulsively wash my hands and my kids' hands. I don't let the kids touch anything in public. I just freak out. My husband thinks I am crazy. Maybe I am...
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