Monday, September 23, 2013

Anxiety Mom

Lately I am turning into Anxiety Mom...

I can leap to crazy conclusions in a single bound.  I can make something out of nothing.  I can obsess over the fire ant hill in the backyard of the house we are moving away from in a few short weeks.  I can tell you exactly how many days, hours, and minutes until we move but not where we are going.  I can start a dozen different blog posts and not finish or publish a single one of them. I can drive myself crazy over things I can't control. 

I guess it's my special talent.       

When I'm not busy wiping noses (or butts) or reading to my kids about the Revolutionary War or cleaning the kitchen or shuttling kids to the store, I'm busy feeling guilty over the things I'm not doing.  And the craziest part is that half of the things I worry about not doing are actually things that I can't do right now and have no control over anyway.  It's nuts!

 My laundry list of things that are keeping me up at night right now include: our impending move, forfeiting my scholarship for school this semester, selling our house in Georgia, my increasingly annoying ear problems, and a family trip to the Grand Canyon that may or may not happen... among others.  All of these things are out of my control.  But I like to sit around and worry about them anyway.  

I'm pretty sure I'm not much fun to be around these days.  I'm hopeful that it will all change once we move or at least can start preparing for the move.  Next Monday we should find out where we are going.  Jason insists that it's no big deal to plan a move.  I insist that a cross-country move with seven kids and a dog is never not a big deal, no matter how many times you do it. Perhaps we are both right but I mostly want to just believe that I'm the one who is right.  Ha.

I have noticed after the last eight military moves that there is always something that gets put off until the last minute.  Or several somethings.  In my case it is usually a handful of boxes in the garage that were never completely unpacked from the last move and a checklist of places we wanted to visit while living in that location that didn't get checked off yet.  

And so I find myself in the garage frantically digging through boxes of tools or textbooks or whatever like my life depends on it.  And if not, then I just feel guilty for not doing it.  See... Anxiety Mom!  I think my little lists are just my way of distracting myself from the bigger issues that bother me, like not knowing where we'll be living in a couple of months.

I'm trying hard to let go of the things I can't control and just enjoy our last few weeks here in the desert.  I'm trying to have fun with my kids and help create fond memories of our time here.  And I'm trying hard to look forward to spending Christmas with our family in Virginia, even if it won't be in a house of our own this year.

Any tips for getting through the next few weeks with sanity intact?  Ideas that don't include chugging bottles of wine or eating my body weight in chocolate?

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