Thursday, October 15, 2009

I Need Potty Training Boot Camp

Not for me. For Sarah!This girl will surely be the one that causes me to run from my house, pulling my hair out in chunks and screaming obscenities. I guarantee it.

I need help and I need it fast! Surely someone out there in the blogosphere has some secret solution to my potty training woes. Had I not successfully potty trained 3 other children already, I would think I am completely inept. (According to my mother I am!)Sarah turned 3 in April so she is now almost 3 and a half years old. Matthew, Joshua, and Leila all potty trained by 2 and a half years of age. Leila suffered some setbacks when Jason left but once she saw him again this summer, her regression was over. Last November, Leila started wearing panties during the day. Sarah stubbornly refused to make the switch and continued wearing diapers until... well, she's still wearing them.

I have 3 kids in diapers all of the time, 1 kid wearing them just at night, and 1 kid wearing cloth training pants. Something has got to give here! It would be one thing if Sarah wasn't capable of potty training yet, but she does use the potty. She's just ridiculously stubborn and flat out refuses to poop on the potty. She'll stay dry all day and pee in the potty but as soon as the poo starts coming, she'll just go in her panties or her diaper or on the floor or in her bed or in bath or pretty much anywhere.
I have tried every approach that I can think of and taken suggestions from everyone I know. I have tried to wait it out but seriously! Her identical twin sister potty trained a year before her? That just ain't right. I've tried bribes (aka "The Potty Box") and rewards. I've tried making her clean herself up. I've tried buying her cute, new panties or letting her go pick out a special toy at the store. I've tried arguing, demanding, and reasoning with her. I've tried reverse psychology.

I can't win.

This girl knows when she has to poop and she will hold it in until she gets a diaper or until it just explodes out. She has no medical conditions that we know of and she has been through the same trauma of being without Daddy as all the rest of the kids and I don't think that's the problem. I believe it is a test of wills. And this is one hell of a strong-willed child.

I need to get this girl to poop in the potty. I walk around all day singing the "Poopsmith" song. The other day Ryan got his hands on a little turd nugget (courtesy of Sarah) and ate it. Again. This must stop now.

So I ask you, fantastically talented parents everywhere, where am I going wrong? I have tried to be patient and give Sarah time to wait until she's ready. I can't wait anymore. I'm ready. Bring it on! I am more stubborn than my daughter. I will win this poopy battle.

In other, non-poop-related news, here are a few more pictures from our trip. I figured I had better get the Colorado pictures posted before I'm sorting through 2,000 Disney pictures too. These pictures (and the ones above) were taken when my dad and I were driving from Arizona up to Colorado. Through New Mexico... the state that hates me. Did I mention I got pulled over in New Mexico for having a tail light out? I did. But at least there were no blizzards, wind storms, detours, or UFOs this time.
I'm not sure if this restaurant is named after the two mountains nearby or if it's a reference to boobs. Either way, I thought it was cool. Since I have twins and boobs and all. And my twins love boobs. (I just found out that my dad and Jason are both reading my blog so I can't talk about boobs too much now.)
Speaking of my dad... Here is what he had to deal with when we drove together to Colorado. Doesn't he look thrilled? My van was exploding with children, luggage, animals, food, and diapers. (Oh, the diapers!!!) My dad is such a good sport though. The kids love him because he is always fun, always patient, and always loving and affectionate. They can't get enough of him! And yes, I love him too!
It takes a patient person to be able to handle days of being trapped in this big, stinky van with my little heathens. My dad handled it well. Even when we had to pull over (6,452 times) for potty breaks on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.Literally in the middle of nowhere.

But we did it and amazingly, I'd do it again. And actually I am doing it again next week.

Lastly, I have won some awards recently. I may not have won "Blog of the Year" but this is even better. Because this first award totally looks like me everyday. Only I have less hair these days.
I want to thank freckletree for giving me this award. She has twins and she gets it. Her blog is a great read, so stop by and check it out!

I'm going to pass this award on to Helene. She's got 2 sets of twins too and it's like being part of a secret society. Whenever I see another mother of multiples I always do the secret nod. Just to let them know that I "get it." Helene, this is my secret nod to you!
Finally, I got another award from a fellow mother of twins. MamaOTwins+1 gave me this award for having a lovely blog. (Right back atcha, Mama!) I am supposed to pick 15 other bloggers to pass the award on to... but I can't decide. I know way too many awesome bloggers that I can't even pick. I'd give this award to any of them, and most of them are listed on my left sidebar so go check them out!

Thanks for the awards! Now, please help me potty train my daughter before I lose my mind.

Oops, too late!

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